You will all be horrified at this suggestion, but sometimes extreme measures are required.
What you could do is get a cheap secondhand wood alto recorder for a few quid from eBay and then get some sandpaper around the labium to round off the sharp edge.
It will sound dreadful, but it will be much quieter and you can at least do some practise which is better than none.
Then when you move house, it can go in the fireplace!!